Anyone else smell latex burning?
why isn’t there a “listen i’m about to marathon this entire series in one day so you can stop playing the theme song and recapping for me” button on netflix and hulu
this is actually really relevant in today’s society.
otherwise known as the entire romney campaign
Judge Frollo even kinda looks like Romney.
Shit you’re right.
I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.
Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”
Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.
Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.
You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.
…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.
i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man
the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge
Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.
If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.
PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN
I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE
Don’t forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion, so they’re easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up.
I am not a serial killer, honest.
I am seriously concerned for all of you
please don’t judge me for tagging this for future reference, IT’S FOR PURELY FICTIONAL PURPOSES OK
I’M PRETTY SURE THE NEXT TIME I SEE THIS POST, ADVICE ON BURYING BODIES WILL ADD UP UNTIL IT SUFFICES TO BE COMPILED AS A HANDBOOK
if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners
don’t trust people who don’t get harry potter references
Listening to Backstreet Boys in elementary school: “Mom, can I have permission to say ‘sexuality’?”
i used to be so picky about what i post and reblog but it’s just slowly deteriorated into a state of “why not”
Together, me, my dad, and my grandpa all got our suffix tattooed on us. Phillip Warren Kary I, II, and III. Though each of us are different in our own ways, in the end we are all the same. United under one family, and one name.
Done at Sky images, in Muskegon Michigan
- told Neville to stand up to people
- confronted a full-sized mountain troll to save a girl he couldn’t stand
- said it didn’t matter whether someone was a pureblood, half-blood, or Muggle-born
- gave Dobby his sweater
- faced a bunch of giant spiders in the hopes of saving the school and clearing Hagrid’s name
- told Luna he loved her Quidditch commentary, and very sincerely tried to convince her he wasn’t teasing her
- stood up on a broken leg, trying to protect Harry
- gave up his grudge against Hermione the moment he learned how much she, Hagrid, and Buckbeak needed him
- realized he was wrong about Harry putting his name in the Goblet of Fire, and promptly went to apologize
- jumped into a freezing pond to save Harry and retrieve the Sword of Gryffindor
- confronted his best friend to prevent his sister’s heart being broken any further than it already was
- begged Bellatrix to torture him in place of Hermione
- couldn’t break up with a girl who drove him nuts because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings
- remembered the Hogwarts House Elves when no one else did, and wanted to make them evacuate, rather than order them to fight
- tried to go back to Harry and Hermione as soon as he left them
- didn’t make excuses for leaving, he came right out and admitted he had been wrong
- didn’t get angry at Hermione for taking a long time to forgive him
- saved Tonks’s life (while impersonating Harry to lower Harry’s chances of being killed, at the same time increasing his own)
- told Hermione not to curse Draco, even though he hates him
In conclusion, Ron is awesome. The end.
and he put his shoes and socks on dobby to be buried in because he knew how much dobby loved clothes. disliking ron weasley’s character makes 0 sense.
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